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Insipid stuff 

Bella Jaisinghani  
Even the conversation your neighbour is having on her mobile phone is more interesting than Hum Tum Pe Marte Hain. This foolproof flop has been put together by some Nabhkumar Raju, and it is he who'll pay most heavily for the crime he has perpetrated on a paying audience.

As is the practice in television serials, the script for this film, too, seems to have been written on the sets. Govinda and Urmila live in neighbouring mansions named `Muktangan' (after Raakhee's house) and `Parampara'. Their servants and dogs fall in love, almost preparing the course for the lead pair to follow suit. A one-sided family feud led by Dimple Kapadia, who even tries to thwart canine love, inexplicably dissolves into nothing and the twain meet.

But until that happens, Paresh Rawal, playing Govinda's father, considers Urmila his lucky charm. Though nothing in particular has happened when he affirms his faith the first time. Then he is so completely besotted by her that it's a trifle suspicious. The rest of the film isforced, Ganpati idols and election references having been thrown in to suit the time of release. The dialogue writer could take a cue from the conversations we ordinary mortals have, so insipid is the interaction between the lovers. But Uttam Singh creates history with the music of Hum Tum Pe Marte Hain.

A male singer lends his voice to a female dancer in Hum banjare ho, and neither the song nor the situation is supposed to be funny. Shah Rukh Khan once said the name Rahul suited him just as Vijay was most apt for Amitabh Bachchan. But the ambitious maker of the film has committed hara kiri by giving this name to Govinda, who cannot look like a Rahul no matter what one makes him do.

A trend that pervaded Hindi cinema in the `50s and `60s was to place a couple of foreigners, whites of course, in the background, and make them play second fiddle to the lead actors, mostly in a song sequence. Watch the films released over the past year and you'll notice this trend has returned. Local foreignerBob Christo officiates in Hum Tum Pe Marte Hain.As for the performances, obviously not inspired to give of herself, Urmila fails to convince the viewer in most scenes. Govinda tries, but all his previous attempts have been more successful. The film's crew believes Nirmal Pandey is some kind of spook going by the exorcist-like chants heard in the background every time he appears on the screen. Paresh Rawal, Himani Shivpuri, Nirmal Pandey and Johnny Lever get substantial footage, but it all adds up to nothing in an inconsequential film. Wonder what made Dimple Kapadia do this to herself, though.

Copyright © 1999 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.

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